honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
