Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
