bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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