apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
