Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize