do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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