I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
