Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You are the jesus of drinking
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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