I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
