i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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