is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
