remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
