I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
