guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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