Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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