Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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