I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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