Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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