And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
