there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
