Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
