we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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