You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
