I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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