girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
