just tell him i said nine months
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
