i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
50% drunk capacity currently
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
