Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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