On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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