ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
