I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
