she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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