I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
