Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
