My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Of course I have a pirate flag
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
