my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
