His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
