bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize