I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i've created a new STD.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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