Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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