You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im six kinds of drunk right now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
