NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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