he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What a dumb baby whore.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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