all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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