Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
