I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize