Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
