You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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