Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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