She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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