I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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