Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
