Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
