Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
