she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
